The .jpeg you see up there is untouched, is what the camera records to the SD card. I didnt process anything
You said you set a custom white balance to get this result. That's processing, whether it happens on the camera or your PC. If you set your camera whitebalance to a standard setting like daylight, does the result look like the DNG?
The raw data in the DNG is... raw data. It either contains the bits from the sensor or it doesn't, beyond that it cannot be "wrong", and the removal of the IR filter will not affect this. The WB setting is not applied to the raw data when it is saved, it is recorded in a separate field in the DNG. So if you manually control the WB in raw processing, you should be able to get the same result you get from the jpeg.
The WB required to achieve your desired result is likely very far from the normal range, so it wouldn't be surprising if this confuses some software, or amplifies some bias in the color matrix. Software that doesn't use the DNG whitebalance setting will likely show you something very extreme, perhaps like what you are seeing in PS.
If you can upload a sample of the actual DNG and jpeg somewhere (dropbox, google docs etc), we may be able to give you additional advice.
DNG version shouldn't make any difference, the white balance settings and color matrix are recorded the same.
